VH1 I Love the '90s, Part Deux Commentator Power Rankings (1993-1995)

1. Juliette Lewis -- 5.818
2. Modern Humorist -- 5.786
3. Rachel Harris -- 3.500
4. Brian Posehn -- 3.200
5. Michael Ian Black -- 2.227
6. Mo Rocca -- 2.000
7. French Stewart -- 1.333
7. Paul F. Tompkins -- 1.333
9. Bill Simmons -- 1.000
9. Tommy Davidson -- 1.000
9. David Wain -- 1.000
9. Biz Markie -- 1.000
9. Trey Parker -- 1.000
14. Luis Guzman -- 0.800
15. Greg Fitzsimmons -- 0.750
16. Beth Littleford -- 0.571
17. Chris Jericho -- 0.500
17. Bell Biv Devoe -- 0.500
19. Kathleen Madigan -- 0.333
20. Craig Ferguson -- 0.250

Ratings were mathematically determined by the following formula:
(Funny appearances/Appearances)*Funny appearances

An appearance was considered any time on screen for more than (roughly) five seconds in any given segment; or an attempted joke.

Juliette Lewis is funny. I never realized it until recently, but she is. Michael Ian Black hasn't been good since the original I Love the 70s. He ranks so high only because he gets so many chances. French Stewart and Tommy Davidson are probably the biggest surprises on the list. That said, Davidson was just 2-for-4 and one of those was when he did an impression of the cryptkeeper from the Tales From the Crypt segment, and then the other time was when he was talking about someone who he thought looked like the cryptkeeper, so he did the impression again. I've never thought Davidson was funny, but when he scrunches his face and crosses his eyes, he's comic gold.

They need to have Brian Posehn on more. He gets multiple laughs most times. Bell Biv Devoe got a 1-for-2 because they were talking about ... oh man, talking about something and one of them goes, "Which movie was that?" and another one goes, "No, that was real." I gave them credit for that one.

If I had to rank the Top 5 Worst Commentators they would be:
1. Loni Love (0-for-14)
2. Bill Dwyer (0-for-13)
3. Rich Eisen (0-for-13)
4. Hal Sparks (1-for-14)
5. Chris Booker (0-for-8)

All five of them are just brutal. Chris Hardwick isn't much better, and his fawning over Radiohead really should have put him on this list, but he did have one funny moment. They should not let former MTV personalities named Chris on this show. I'm no racist, but Loni Love is just not funny. Then again, I am sexist. Seriously, though, her setups sometimes seem like they might lead to a good punchline ... but it never, ever happens.

Of the people who aren't used that much, the worst are: Uncle Kracker (shocking, I know), Kathy Griffin (see: Uncle Kracker), Michael Buble (if he would just say his name he might get credit for a funny), and Debbie Matenopolous. She's not even close to funny, but it is funny each time she's on screen it's, "Oh man, I loved [something horrible].

You can download the complete rankings here.

--DM--

Comments

[BW]

it's official.
you have waaaaaaay too much free time on your hands.

Correction:
Michael Ian Black hasn't been funny since The State.
I think we can all agree that Stella is extremely unfunny.

I here that VH1 has a new nostalgia show coming out called "The 100 Coolest Things that happened between 8am and 10am yesterday morning"

[MZ]

For the record, Bell Biv Devoe were discussing when that kid got caned for vandalism in Singapore.

[MZ]

Did any one of those three things (Rollerball/Segway trip/ employment opportunities) have anything to do with this post? Anyway, don't you HAVE a job, CH, Bedford Journal staff? I would say I am more in need of a new job than you are, and your reliance on nonsequiturs troubles me, so no, even if we could help we would not. Maybe you should look into whether they've started casting the new season of "The Apprentice."

[PS]

oh burrrrrrn.

sorry i didnt call you back last night, christian - i was at this sweet horrendous-noise show when you called.

[DM]

Well, the Cosi right by my office just put up a sign yesterday saying they were hiring. So if you want to be the one to have the honor of making my turkey sammiches, then that's an idea.

[EB]

you know who else you forgot to call back.

[minerals vitamin]

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Vitamins fall into two categories: fat soluble and water soluble. The fat-soluble vitamins — A, D, E, and K — dissolve in fat and can be stored in your body. The water-soluble vitamins — C and the B-complex vitamins (such as vitamins B6, B12, niacin, riboflavin, and folate) — need to dissolve in water before your body can absorb them. Because of this, your body can't store these vitamins. Any vitamin C or B that your body doesn't use as it passes through your system is lost (mostly when you pee). So you need a fresh supply of these vitamins every day.
minerals vitamin

[minerals vitamin]

What Are Vitamins and Minerals?

Vitamins and minerals make people's bodies work properly. Although you get vitamins and minerals from the foods you eat every day, some foods have more vitamins and minerals than others.

Vitamins fall into two categories: fat soluble and water soluble. The fat-soluble vitamins — A, D, E, and K — dissolve in fat and can be stored in your body. The water-soluble vitamins — C and the B-complex vitamins (such as vitamins B6, B12, niacin, riboflavin, and folate) — need to dissolve in water before your body can absorb them. Because of this, your body can't store these vitamins. Any vitamin C or B that your body doesn't use as it passes through your system is lost (mostly when you pee). So you need a fresh supply of these vitamins every day.
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There are a lot of good opinions here. Really gives me a new way of looking at things.

[Obesity]

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