The Five Worst Modern Rock Lyricists of the '90s: #2

As DM acknowledged in yesterday's post, all of the denizens of the top 3 are so unspeakably bad that we had a really difficult time ranking them. We were still debating whether today's honoree was actually worthy of our top spot as late as this morning, but ultimately the continuing revulsion I experience upon hearing the songs of our winner (can you wait?) beat out the incredulous giggle fits today's selection sends me into. Sorry, Trent. I hope your defeat won't make you moody or anything.

he couldn't believe how easy it was
he put the gun into his face
bang!
(so much blood for such a tiny little hole)
problems do have solutions you know
a lifetime of fucking things up fixed
in one determined flash
(from The Downward Spiral)

No, Trent! There's no need for such desperate actions! Let's keep things in perspective- at least you have your art, even if philistines like myself enviously mock your heartfelt efforts. At least you know you have integrity, right?

i am every fucking thing and just a little more
i sold my soul but don't you dare call me a whore
and when i suck you off not a drop will go to waste
it's really not so bad you know once you get past the taste
(from Starfuckers, Inc.)

Um, maybe you can find solace in spirituality?

bow down before the one you serve
you're going to get what you deserve
(from Head Like A Hole)

All right, I'm willing to admit that religion probably wasn't the greatest suggestion (although DM has found Joel Osteen very inspiring- maybe you would also respond to his folksy charm and empowering message...)

hey God, why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God, i think you owe me a great big apology
(from Terrible Lie)

Okay, fine. Look, I've tried to help. What is it you think would make you feel better, Trent?

you let me violate you
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you
you let me complicate you
help me
i broke apart my insides
help me
i've got no soul to sell
help me
the only thing that works for me
help me get away from myself

i wanna fuck you like an animal
i wanna feel you from the inside
i wanna fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

you can have my isolation
you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith
you can have my everything
help me
tear down my reason
help me
it's your sex i can smell
help me
you make me perfect
help me become somebody else

i wanna fuck you like an animal
i wanna feel you from the inside
i wanna fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

all through every forest
above the trees
within my stomach
scraped off my knees
i drink the honey
inside your hive
you are the reason
i stay alive
(Closer)

Sorry I asked.

--MZ--

Comments

[PS]

my prediction for number 1: thom yorke
my choice for number 1: ed kowalczyk (thom yorke can be number 5 or something. have you HEARD live's lyrics? "her placenta falls to the floor" "pale blue-colored iris presents the circle, puts the glory out to hide hide" "and to love a god and to fear the flame and to burn (or whatever) the crowd that has a name"

[trent]

Fuck you, jack

[Caleb]

PS, I pity you. Live IMHO is about the best post-grunge band there is, and one of the most awesome bands ever, period. What's wrong with those lyrics? Are you too queasy to be able to take hearing about a placenta, and do you retaliate by calling it "bad lyricism"?

[MZ]

This is about Trent Reznor.
I will take the pity, however.

[PS]

A. EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH THOSE LYRICS
B1. ALL I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PLACENTAE IS WHO'S EATIN 'EM
B2. DON'T USE QUOTATION MARKS IF YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY QUOTING ME - I WOULD NEVER USE THE WORD "LYRICISM," JAG-OFF

[me]

what are you classifying as "bad" in this instance?

if you mean to say it is bad becuase you cannot stomach it then, while NIN songs aint a sunny walk in the park, NIN isnt the Wiggles, and doesnt pretend to be. you should not call Trent a bad lyricist becuase he doesnt have a song about rainbows and butterflies.

where as if you are accusing him of not having poetic ability or the songs not having any meaning, then you obviously havent actually LISTENED to any of his albums in which case you should not critisize. This music is loaded with more meaning than most other bands out there and wrapped up very poetically (ok so not the case in starfuckers but not every song has to be a subtle masterpeice). If you cannot read between the lines, or even read the actual lines in some cases then that is your loss.

[Tanya]

Fuck you, nin are another great band you fuck.
whats wrong with the lyrics?
do you feel uncomfortable when you hear songs relating to sex seeing as you havent had any due to your terrible taste in music