There's No Such Thing As Joanna Newsom Guitar Tabs

...and yet we get google searches for them all of the time. She plays the harp, and I can't even begin to imagine what a harp tab would look like. My own google research indicates no such thing exists, although it does suggest that another type of tab is popular with Ms. Newsom's fans.

Just in case you hadn't figured it out, this is going to be one of those delightful posts where I share all of the strange searches that bring unsuspecting innocents (and some people who want shirtless pictures) to Soi Disantra. Shall we?

-The Mr. Show searches never fail to make me smile. Professor Murder, Choo Choo the Herky Jerky Dancer, Bob singing "I am a camera, a camera am I." Best of all- "Paul F. Tompkins" & "not funny." Right you are. If you really want Mr. Show info, go here, and if you'd like to see something hilarious featuring two members of the Mr. Show cast, may I direct you to Girls Guitar Club.

-The "shirtless" searches are always a little disturbing. Last time was during the football season so we were getting mostly quarterbacks, but things have gotten decidedly more eclectic this month, with both intermittently funny comedians and intolerable musicians. This month's hot shirtless requests: Michael Ian Black, Trey Parker, Michael Buble, Uncle Kracker.

Just so I don't feel like I'm totally disappointing our visitors, there's a gratuitous shirtless picture. Yes, that's Joe Perry, shirtless and mustachioed, and yes that's shirted and bearded Roger Clemens with him.

-Next up we've got what I'm going to classify as indie rock conspiracy theories.
"Mazzy Star Kurt Cobain suicide"- and here we'd been thinking it was Courtney, or at least Mary Lou Lord, who inspired that.
"Stewart Lupton drugs"- well, maybe that one's bypassed the theory stage.
"Kings of Leon same last name Followill"- we think their names are legit, but if not I'm already planning the field day I'm going to have.
"Ethan Johns married"- in case you didn't know who he was either, here's his page. Until DM enlightened me, I thought he was the guy from Silverchair.
Also, it appears that either I am not alone in my Drag City incest fears- we have gotten MULTIPLE "Bill Callahan Joanna Newsom relationship" searches. It's also possible I started the paranoia about that, as I have yet to see anything confirming that such a relationship exists.

-Other assorted weirdness:"top 5 lamest country singers" -"what do you think now of the american dream?" - "bagel David Wain lyrics" - our favorite godawful Trail of Dead lyric "let the boys and girls at bbc see corpses rapes and amputees" - "Brendan Haywood girlfriend." I'm assuming he's single, ladies, since he was the prize in the "Win a Date with a Wizard" contest at the first Wizards singles night. (The second time around it was Laron Profit, so if anyone's interested he must be available too... no, I didn't think so.)

On a totally unrelated note, check this out.

--MZ--

Comments

[ZR]

Man, that Joe Perry/Roger Clemens picture is going to haunt my nightmares for a long, long time.

I found your site because I actually Googled "Joanna Newsom tab" just now! Your writing is very funny (and you have excellent taste in music, I might add.) I am going to go home and attempt to figure out the guitar chords to "Sadie" tonight, because it has just replaced "The Book of Right-On" as my favorite song in the universe as of this moment. If I am successful, i will post the tab somewhere, thus rendering your subject line innaccurate! MWAH-Hahahahaha!

I have actual tears in my eyes right now. Don't listen to "Sadie" with headphones on if you are not prepared, as I wasn't, for the emotional directness of the song. Damn. So much for my stupid little guitar tab. Maybe tomorrow night I'll use the speakers: it's less intense and more manageable that way.

(BTW, I don't agree with too much of your Wilco musings, because i actually really like much of their most recent stuff, but i like that you take them as seriously as i do and as many others don't.)

[stewart lupton]

tell me more about stewart lupton drugs. i, myself, am immune to them, but am always looking for a new patent. i do, however, have a growing fondess (perhaps even a predisposition) for wheatgrass. also, i enjoy the poerty of james tate immensely. and tin tin, the parisian boy detective...his adventures never cease to raise my bloodpressure, and the artwork, that modernist, matted palatte tightly contained within crisp fluid lines, shit, don't get me started. that stuff belongs in the m.o.m.a. anyway, i was just looking for an article i wrote on albert ayler (drugs) when i came across "stewart lupton drugs." do let me know if that's a good thing, as i live alone, without the aid of a publicist to explain such things. warmest regards, stewart lupton.
p.s. albert didn't really do drugs. i did. then i quit. i've had to quit a couple of times, it was rather difficult to say the least, but...keep quitting and one day you'll quit.
the first time i quit because they turned me into stewart lupton. and then i quit ( for good, with a little grace) because they didn't.
so please, do get back to me. i want in on the "theory." I want in on the joke. i have a new record coming out, and perhaps your theory will help me explain it to the press. or at least i could tell them the joke, you know, in interviews and stuff like that.
warmest regards
stewart lupton

[PS]

ahh. the old self-google. i envy you all for that ability.

[Sadie]

hahha, I was searching for joanna newsom guitar tab too, here you go -

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/j/joanna_newsom/sadie_tab.htm

Easy

[Aza]

I saw this after looking for the book of right-on tab and I couldn't find one either so I wrote it myself. Here you go...

I'm pretty sure this is right. There may be the odd note that's not quite right or that I missed, but it's pretty darn close. Especially seeing as this is a HARP song.

(If this tab shows up un-aligned properly, just copy it into notepad)

Tuning: C#-A-D-G-B-E

Riff 1:
E------------------|
B------------------|
G--------------3---|
D------------------|
A------7-----4-----|
C#-0-7--0--5-----5-|

Riff 2:
E---------------------------|
B---------------------------|
G-------------------3-----3-|
D---------------------------|
A------7-----7----4-----4---|
C#-0-7---0-7----5-----5-----|

Riff 3:
E----------------------------------|
B--4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-|
G--4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-|
D--6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-|
A----------------------------------|
C#---------------------------------|

Riff 4:
E-23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23--23-----------|
B------------------------------------------------------------------|
G---21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21-|
D------------------------------------------------------------------|
A------------------------------------------------------------------|
C#-----------------------------------------------------------------|

Riff 5:
E----------------------------------|
B--5-----5---5---5---5---5---5---5-|
G----6---6---6---6---6---6---6---6-|
D----------------------------------|
A------4---4---4---4---4---4---4---|
C#---------------------------------|

Riff 6:
E----------------------------|
B--5-----5---5-----5-5---5-2-|
G----6---6---6-----6-6---6-3-|
D----------------4-----4-----|
A------4---4---4-------------|
C#---------------------------|

Riff 7:
E-------16--16------16--16------16--16-16-16-16-14-|
B-----12----12----12----12----12----12-12-12-12-11-|
G---13----13----13----13----13----13---------------|
D--------------------------------------------------|
A-11----------11----------11-----------------------|
C#-------------------------------------------------|

Riff 8:
E-------16--16------16--16------16------16------16------16-16-14-14-14---|
B-----12----12----12----12----12------12------12------12------11-11-11---|
G---13----13----13----13----13------13------13------13-------------------|
D---------------------------------------------------------------------11-|
A-11----------11----------11------11------11------11---------------------|
C#-----------------------------------------------------------------------|

Riff 9:
E-23--23--23--23--23--23-----------|
B----------------------------------|
G---21--21--21--21--21--21--21--21-|
D----------------------------------|
A----------------------------------|
C#---------------------------------|

Riff order:
1 x2

2 & 3 x4

1 x2

2 keep playing with...
4 x1
5 x3
6 x1
7 x1
8 x1

1 x2

2 keep playing with...
4 x1
5 x3
6 x1
7 x1
8 x1

1 x1

2 & 9 x1

2 & 3 x4

[paddle fanatic]

Actually, in her new album, there are guitar parts for several of the songs. It's hard to hear, but listen closely and you can hear an electric guitar.

[richard]

M. Ward actually did a cover of "Sadie"
it's awesome and it's not hard to figure out which chords he uses

so what are the chords to m.wards cover?

[sio]

i'm actually in the middle of a two-day concert of covers, and the only decent one is the reggae version of "Book of Right-On" that me and my friends came up with, and it sounds awesome. that tab is bullshit too the chords are (with a capo on the fourth) A and D. but anyway, this has made me realize that there ARE NO TABS because tabs are direct...scripture of riffs or whatever. there are CHORDS and interpretations of her songs.

Where do you find ALL the guitar secrets under on roof? Right here!

[DaMee]

I realise that no one has posted a comment in years but...

I don't suppose someone could help me work out the chords for M. Wards cover of Sadie? So far I have

F#
This is an old song

Em
These are old blues

D

This is not my tune

G

But its mine to use

Aadd9 (hammer on the C#)

I kind of lose my way after this with the 'All that I want' bit.

You can't really make out much on the youtube video of Ward playing it live. I think it might be some kind of D he is playing, but I could be wrong.

Any ideas/help would be greatly received.

[Flora]

I tried to find the original version for harp (I play harp not guitar) but I couldn't find anything like that... :D