We're Running Out of Time! 24 Power Rankings, 10 P.M.

With the way they were advertising this episode, the ending was sort of a foregone conclusion. But whatever. Definitely a busy episode, lots of emotional stuff going on in addition to all the terrorism. People, let’s try to focus on the task at hand, all right? Let’s not worry if your ex-wife has been having sex with a very authoritative dude with a cool, alliterative name. Let’s just get to the rankings since this is late as it is.

1. Nicole aka The Sexy Terrorist (NR) – We’ll give her a posthumous #1 ranking for her fine work last night. For everything Marwan and Anderson did, if she wasn’t able to keep Jack at bay for that half hour or so, things probably would have turned out very differently. Kudos for a nice fake phone conversation, and she gets bonus points for that wonderful neck stabbing. I’m a sucker for a good neck stabbing. Which, incidentally, will be the lead lyric to my debut rap album.
2. Chloe O’Brian (3) – See, everyone thinks Chloe’s a bitch, and she can certainly be bitch-y. But deep down, she’s just a nice person. Why else would she cover for Edgar like that? The Chloe Eye Roll Watch was off the charts this week.
3. Jack Bauer (1T) – When the president’s plane gets shot down and you are in the same apartment as a terrorist for half an hour before you finally realize it, you have to drop a few spots. Sorry, Jack. A mini-highlight of the show was his over-the-phone reunion with Chloe. I sense a love connection, much more than anything he has with Audrey. “Yeah, lemme go in here and apprehend the most wanted man in the world, I’ll give you a call when I’m done, I guess?”
4. Mitch Anderson (1T) – This is a tough one. He seems to have achieved his main goal, which in theory should put him higher in the rankings. But for some reason I feel wrong about putting someone who just attempted to assassinate the president higher than fourth on the list. And believe me, whether it’s this fake president or our real president, I’ve often been in favor of – hell, advocated -- assassination. Also, I find it hard to believe that we couldn’t be able to track our own stealth bombers. But whatever, I don’t want to turn this into one of those 24 gaffe sites, I’m sure there are plenty out there.
5. Habib Marwan (6) – He’s certainly a slippery fellow, that Marwan. It remains to be seen if AF1 was actually shot down and Keeler was killed. The way things are going for Marwan so far, he’ll probably end up with a broken leg or something. I mean, they kidnapped Heller and showed it on the Internet … but then he got away. They melted down the one nuclear plant … but the other hundred or so were saved. Gotta finish the job, buddy.
6. Tony Almeida (5) – Yes, that is the proper reaction to figuring out that Michelle and Buchanan have been getting it on. But it’s not like Tony’s in the clear. What about that mega-bitch from earlier in the afternoon?
7. Paul Raines (NR) – Well, he obviously wasn’t going to die. His inner monologue when Audrey was holding his hand by the bed? “Oh, don’t give me your damn pity love. Actually, if I am crippled, I suppose pity love is all I’ll be getting. So yeah, pity love, sure.”
8T. Michelle Destler (7) – Ewwww.
8T.Bill Buchanan (HM) – Ewwww.
10. Edgar Stiles (7) – He keeps plummeting in the rankings. It’s a good thing Chloe’s there to look out for him. I wouldn’t be so upset about having a funeral without the body. What’s the big deal? Would he want something like what The Pope’s getting, with his lifeless body being paraded around all over the place? “Dead Pope, comin’ through, watch out folks, got a dead Pope here, look out.”
11. President Keeler (NR) – So I know that 24 loves making the characters you despise sympathetic figures right before they get killed. And I think that’s what they were trying to do with Keeler by bringing in his son last night, but honestly, I’m not sure. He seemed just as much an asshole as ever.
12. Audrey Raines (10) – I think I might have to keep Jack from the top of the rankings from now on just for having been involved with her. I hate this chick.

Honorable Mention
Kevin Keeler (It’s hard not to be a tool when your father is an enormous tool. Keith Palmer would totally murder this dude)
Vice President Logan (Yeah, he seems like someone that Keeler would pick)

Dropped Out … For Now
James Heller (The fact that his name hasn’t even been mentioned means something is seriously up)
Curtis Manning (Nothing? Really?)
Behrooz Araz (I can’t imagine that the past hour has been good for him)

Dropped Out
Rafique the Worrisome Computer-y Terrorist (at least he got the classic bad guy final utterance in), Agent Drake (does she even deserve to be on here?), Dina Araz (she's dead, folks), Dave Conlon (dead and a real bastard), Erin Driscoll (probably watching Shabby Chic, or something like that), Maya Driscoll (dead), Marianne Taylor (dead), Sarah Gavin (Who? Oh, right), Navi Araz (patricided), Richard Heller (Wait, maybe his dad sprung him loose and they are doing evil things together. Eh?), Kalil Hasan (dead), Omar the Terrorist (dead), Debbie Pendleton (dead), Ronnie Lavell (so dead).

Past Rankings
9 P.M.
8 P.M.
7 P.M.
6 P.M.

--DM--

Comments

[Hoboken-Michael]

Dude,
Excellent 10 PM rankings for "24". Although I love the show, I completely agree with you about Jack falling at least one spot out of first based on the episode. I dunno if I would change anything based on your rankings though I do think that the Tony-Michelle love thang ratchets up the tension a bit and is worth seeing. Keep up the great work as this is what makes my Tuesdays!!!

Sincerely,
Hoboken (N.J.) Michael

[TL]

Too much soap-opera crap in this episode. But overall, one of the better ones. Agent Drake is my new favorite character. I'd love to know how that conversation with her agent went.
"So, I have some good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first."
"I got you a role on 24."
"Awesome! What's the bad news?"
"Your character gets shot dead within about 14 seconds."