We're Running Out of Time! 24 Power Rankings, 11 P.M.

Mike Novick returns! I think I’m a lot more excited about this than I have any right to be. I’m sick of these intros…

1. Jack Bauer (3) – “Hey!” BANG! BANG! Yes, welcome back to the top of the rankings, Jack. And Audrey, it’s not his “gift” that he can tune things out. That’s one of the key requirements of his job. His real gift, in my eyes, has been being in a relationship with Audrey for so long without stabbing her or himself in the neck.
2. Jason Girard (NR) – At first I thought he was a hippie due to the facial hair and the camping in the desert. But he’s far too informed to be a hippie, and I don’t think he said “dude” or “man” even once. A valiant effort for a one-episode character. The hastily written Muslim brothers would be proud.
3. Habib Marwan (5) – You’ve got to at least give Marwan credit for being in the middle of everything. He’s a hands-on terrorist, more AMA-Z then UBL, it seems. And he sure is good at leaving his henchmen in the dust while he escapes. Speaking of … what’s with this endless supply of henchmen? Quite an infrastructure he’s got.
4. Chloe O’Brian (2) – Not much of an episode for the office characters. I’m sure Chloe was pissing people off and we just didn’t see it.
5. Mike Novick (NR) – VP Logan, to Novick: “You did that without my permission?” Um, hello? That’s what Novick does, bro. No doubt Heller’s recent disappearance and Novick’s reappearance are related. My enthusiasm for his return is mostly because that means the return of the Mike Novick faces.

Face 1: Concerned, trying to convince President to do a certain thing, but knows that President won't agree to it.

Face 2: Feigned shock after President expresses displeasure that Novick went ahead and did the thing President specifically said not to do.

6. Tony Almeida (6) – I thought Tony was a bit out of line to snap at Buchanan. Tony, remember you were watching futbol earlier in the morning and haven’t worked at CTU for over a year. Tony’s inner monologue after Buchanan told him there was nothing between him and Michelle: “Yeah, well, you’re still a dick.” I’m sure about the “Yeah, well” part at least. That’s so Almeida.
7. President Keeler (11) – Way to survive, buddy. Gotta bump him up a bit for that, and after some more exposure to VP Logan, Keeler all of a sudden looks like … well, not Lincoln or FDR. Maybe … Rutherford B. Hayes? He was a sort of middle of the pack guy, right? I cheated on most of my tests in high school, sorry.
8. Edgar Stiles (10) – Can’t someone else besides one of the two analysts left answer the phone every time it rings?
9. Bill Buchanan (8T) – Hey, Buchanan. Wanna know why you and Michelle “never got off the ground”? Maybe it’s because you use lame phrases such as “never got off the ground.” Sheesh.
10. Michelle Dessler (8T) – I have a theory that Michelle is only cool when she’s wearing her leather (pleather?) jacket.
11. Audrey Raines (12) – I miss Kate Warner.
12. Kelly Girard (NR) – She was really close to being #1. Damn close. Especially with her “he’s kept us alive this long” let’s keep listening to him line. But not only does she give the football to Marwan, she does it because he promises not to kill her. Out of all of the forehead smacking moments so far this season, that might take the cake. Still, Marwan did turn on the charm when he told her he wouldn’t kill them. And technically, he was telling the truth, I suppose.
13. (Vice) President Logan (HM) – You’d think in the 24 universe, where it seems that every president has an attempt on his life, they’d be able to scrounge up a better backup plan than a guy who is zonked out on Klonopin, Zoloft and Xanax. But obviously not Botox, that’s for sure.

Dropped Out … For Now
James Heller (The more episodes he’s not in, the more evil he’s up to. Then again, if that were the case, Satan would have nothing on Novick.)
Curtis Manning (I’m starting to think that the “for now” part might be wishful thinking. Who casts this show, the people who did Friends?)
Paul Raines (More surgery, oh boy)

Dropped Out
Mitch Anderson (So how’d that work out for ya, Mitch? The lesson – terrorism doesn’t pay. Unless you’re Nina Myers, and even then, only for a couple years), Behrooz Araz (I can’t imagine they’d keep him alive, can you?), Rafique the Worrisome Computer-y Terrorist (at least he got the classic bad guy final utterance in), Agent Drake (does she even deserve to be on here?), Dina Araz (she's dead, folks), Dave Conlon (dead and a real bastard), Erin Driscoll (probably watching Shabby Chic, or something like that), Maya Driscoll (dead), Marianne Taylor (dead), Sarah Gavin (Who? Oh, right), Navi Araz (patricided), Richard Heller (Wait, maybe his dad sprung him loose and they are doing evil things together. Eh?), Kalil Hasan (dead), Omar the Terrorist (dead), Debbie Pendleton (dead), Ronnie Lavell (so dead).

Past Rankings
10 P.M.
9 P.M.
8 P.M.
7 P.M.
6 P.M.

--DM--

Comments

[DM]

One thing I wanted to add about Jack: He might want to look into using the "vibrate" ring feature on his phone in the future. Just a suggestion.

[Paulette]

I don't miss Kate Warner, God I hate her, she was so annoying that it makes me looooove Audrey even more.

[DM]

Yeah, but Kate Warner made great Kate Warner faces. You know what I'm talking about. Like this. Audrey can't match her there. Then again, I think you could have, say, lit a match right in front of Kate and she would have made that face. "How the....???"

[jm]

i cant believe you didnt think that jason girard looks like that dude from the chevy truck commercial where he sings along w/ the shania twain song.

and kate warner was so far superior to stupid audrey. she and jack worked so well together. remember when she wore the burka? you know that turned jack on. i wonder if he ever went to pick up his jacket from her place after she called him in the first episdoe of season 3..

[Leee]

Didn't Captain "Crunch" Mitch have some back-up plan to fool everyone into thinking he's dead? Still, he does deserve to fall in the rankings -- indirect hit, pssh.

[Bryan]

Jack loves Audrey and she is so much better than annoying one expression Kate, so glad she is gone, Kate's character was a waste of screen time.

ok, I know the business of bitching about weird plot aspects of 24 is overcrowded, but...

terrorists in 2 jeeps pull up to the building where some civilians are holding the nuclear football. they park said vehicles. now, Jack Bauer and one other person come to get it, but they have a helicopter. So maybe they might want to go ahead and disable the jeeps, since I don't know where Marwan was going to go IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DESERT without them.

otherwise, my favorite moment was at the beginning, where Jack comes running into CTU and says "did you try subcom satellite" or whatever it was, and everyone's just like "no". How can Jack not just say, "what the fuck...do I have to do everything around here?" honestly.

[DM]

Yeah, I like to be as much of a mark as possible when watching 24 and not look for all the flaws, but not destroying those jeeps was just absolutely ridiculous. You think Surnow was like, "Well, we've still got 7 hours left ... people won't notice, will they?"

And part of the reason Jack was moved up to #1 was because he really is doing all of this without any help. I mean, there's Chloe, but that's about it.

[Mathew]

This season has been awesome, love everything about this show.
Now about this, "His real gift, in my eyes, has been being in a relationship with Audrey for so long without stabbing her or himself in the neck."
IMO don't think Jack would ever want to do that, he definitely loves Audrey, they make a nice couple. I never liked Kate Warner, her one expression was so annoying.

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