Fuck You, Believer!: Introduction and Guiding Philosophy

I guess I should begin by explaining the concept of this new potential series. I've become increasingly frustrated with the Believer's content recently (seriously, are those or are those not THE EXACT SAME BANDS that they covered in last year's music issue?), and it occurred to me that there's a simple reason for that- I disagree with the editors' defining philosophy, which goes something like this:

We will focus on writers and books we like.

We will give people and books the benefit of the doubt.

The working title of this magazine was The Optimist.

Okay, not so horrible, right? (Well, except for "the Optimist" part.) I guess the idea was to be a beacon of positivity in the increasingly criticism oriented literary world. It might have worked out if they allowed all of their writers to select their own subjects at all times. The main problem is, they gave Nick Hornby a monthly column in which he discusses (theoretically) all of the books he purchased and read in the previous month. So is he obliged to enjoy all of them? (Spoiler: He does not.) No, but apparently he is obliged to insert mentions of the Believer editorial board every time he excises what they deem unsuitably cynical. He "cutely" refers to said editors as the Polysyllabic Spree (soon to be the most dated reference in the universe- does anyone think those guys are going to have another successful album... okay, does anyone who remembers Jesus Hits Like an Atom Bomb and its sales- we're talking WITH that incredible Soundgarden parking lot mural here- think that those guys are going to have another successful album?) Anyway, Nick Hornby's crappy taste and irritating writing (yes, I get it, you know Sarah Vowell- incessantly mentioning it is only making me like both of you less) could be another whole series altogether (hmmm...), so let's move along to the task at hand.

Even if you have no prior connection to me, and the previous paragraphs are the only reading you've done here at Soi Disantra (for shame), you've probably already figured out that the Believer philosophy is not one I have embraced as my own (and that I really need to cut back on my parentheses use). I'm all for exposing people to good books, but once in awhile steering people away from something that really isn't worth their time or consideration can be a helpful gesture as well. It also lends you a credibility that can be hard to maintain if you fawn over everything- let's call this the Magnet 2001 reviews section principle (because that's really catchy, wouldn't you agree?). Anyway, because I am always ready to contribute my fair share of spleen to the public consciousness, I hereby unleash upon the world Fuck You, Believer! and of course, this column's guiding principles:

I will focus on writers and books I am predisposed to despise.

I will make no effort to be objective.

I also considered calling this Antibeliever, Disbeliever, and assorted other variations of the word believer that you could probably come up with on your own. Ultimately, I felt only obscenity captured the tone I was going for. At no point did I consider The Pessimist, because that is fucking cheesy.

The inaugural FYB will feature Chuck Klosterman's Killing Yourself to Live (Tuesday at the latest, I swear), but I'm inviting suggestions for future columns. I'm open to all genres, but please keep the page count within reason.

--MZ--

Comments

[5RP]

Bravo. I have not been able to stomach much of the believer and this seems like a welcome alternative.

I'm liking this site more and more. First you get me with your recommendation of the Jincy Willet novel (in mid-read as I type) and now this.

Have you read Jincy Willet's collection of short stories, "Jenny and the Jaws of Life"? If you liked her novel you'd definitely enjoy that.

I wanted to puke when I read on the jacket flap of Sarah Vowell's new one that she is a "McSweeney's person". Ugh. I would imagine that the staff at the Believer and McSweeneys have huge squishy orgies if I could believe that they actually have libidos.

[pnk]

I'm just going to go on record here as being a HUGE fan of The Believer (and to a lesser extent, McSweeney's as well), but also as a big booster of Soi Disantra. I sense trouble brewing.

Mom, Dad...please don't fight!

[MZ]

5RP- I have read the short stories, and I enjoyed them too. I definitely agree with you on the weird sexlessness of McSweeney's.

pnk- See, initially I liked the Believer, and there's certainly stuff in there that's worth reading, I just question their overall philosophy. Anyway, this was the only FYB in which I actually planned on discussing the magazine, henceforth you can expect only book hate.